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Our Days Here...

January 29, 2013

How We Spent the Weekend…

January 28, 2013
I just finished editing what I am going to assume to be one of several revisions of Jack’s science fair project.  Long distance homework…we’re getting good at it!  I’m a mom, no matter where I am or what the circumstances, my job is to be “there”, to encourage, to crack the whip when need be :).  Drew emailed me an update on the project and what Jack has finished.  Not bad, not bad at all, but it still needs some work.  Keep going, give it your all, you can do it buddy, I know you can!

Speaking of being a mom, my mom has been with us on and off pretty much since the end of November.  She commutes back and forth from Wisconsin to Pennsylvania like she is just running an errand to the grocery store.  She knows the flight schedule leaving Green Bay and arriving in Philadelphia like the back of her hand.   She has been a rock for us to lean on, but in particular for me.  Just knowing she was “there” in my place feeding my kids “healthy nutrition”, assisting with homework, practicing piano, doing laundry, ironing my husbands shirts, making sure that everyone has what they need for each respected activity,  tailoring the kids lunches to meet each of their specific likes and none of their dislikes, enforcing our routines and our household beliefs on our kids…has been a HUGE help.  My mom went home on Wednesday, I miss her already.  Drew assures me that things are well at home, I have to trust him as I have not been home since January 2nd.  Sophie tells me that Daddy makes the bed, most days.  The kids are doing pretty darn good in spite of the circumstances, as much as it pains me they have a routine that they have fallen into without me and Lucy.  Enough time has gone by that new normals have been established.  I know when we are all home again everyone will be willing to give up their new found routines in favor of the old.  Drew is taking on things at home and doing pretty darn good as well, including the doing the laundry and sorting the mail.  Actually, anyone could probably do a better job than me when it comes to sorting the mail. Yeah, I’m that bad at it.  I am proud of all of us, but especially our kids.
  
On Friday evening we were being threatened with a few inches of snow, it only really snowed an inch at best, nonetheless it was enough of a threat that the kids stayed home with Helen.  Drew came to see us late in the afternoon and for the first time ever I left our sleeping Lucy in the loving care of the wonderful nurses on the floor and walked out of these hospital doors with my husband for a few hours.  My mission was to run an errand to Target, Drew’s mission was to get me out of the hospital.  We accomplished both and even had a car picnic in the snow.  We didn’t have time to eat in anywhere so we got take out.  No matter where we are or what the circumstances, as long as we are together life is good.

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights were not great nights for our girl.  She has been dealing with what appears to be episodic periods of nausea and vomiting, added with some, more like a lot of diarrhea.  Seriously, what’s up with that?  Once in a blue moon Lucy has a bowel movement, but vomiting…it’s not really her thing, or at least that’s what we thought.  Child, my head spins just trying to think of reasons for why your body is doing what it’s doing.  We keep blaming things on the infection in her body, it’s the scapegoat so to speak.  As for infections, the infectious disease doc and I had a lengthy conversation about our special girl on Friday and again on Saturday.  Dr. R cringed when I told him that it was a good conversation, good as in not good but more like a relief.   I know, I know, it’s never good when you have to consult with ID, but when you're at this stage of the game, having the knowledge of a specialist like this agree with what your thoughts are as a mother, it is good.  Dr. R and I will discuss the details of all that was talked about and hopefully tomorrow move forward with implementing the plan.

Today I gave Lucy a bath in her bath chair, in the bath tub, for the first time since, oh geez this is going to sound really bad, last year.  She has received sponge baths, but an actual bath that’s something entirely different.  She was a little lady of leisure in the tub today, and two hours later(seriously, it took that long) when all was said and done, she wanted everyone on the floor to come and see how clean and beautiful she looked in her I LOVE YOU pajamas.  She makes me smile, and everyone else too.
Drew and the girls came by to see us on Saturday night, Jack had a sleepover with his buddy Paul, and then they all came to see us again tonight.  I love having them all here.  Megan and Sophie brought their American Girl dolls to the hospital, wheelchairs and all.  Jack brought his finished science fair board to show me.  Ask me anything you want about Venus fly traps, if I don’t know it I know who will.

We are hoping to hear back from the doc at Hopkins this week.  Conversations are also being had with the doc at Jefferson.  In the meantime, Lucy is doing pretty well considering all that she has going on.  Her labs are stable and for the first time this month her calcium is not increasing, we are attributing this to the Calcijex working.
 
Tomorrow is another day, we’ll take each day as it comes and celebrate all that we can.  Jack has my computer so I don’t have access to pictures, sorry Alicia, I’ll post some tomorrow when I get my Mac back.

Thanks as always for your thoughts and prayers, love and support.   

Today...

January 25, 2013


Today was much better than yesterday, so very thankful for that.

Sleep is scarce for me these days, I am looking forward to getting some tonight.

Praise God for antibiotics,  they are lifesaving!  Infectious disease has officially been added to our team of specialists, we are in a difficult spot when it comes to all of the bacteria and yeast Lucy has growing in her body.  We are looking to the experts for guidance and suggestions for keeping the bad bugs away for as long as possible.  Like I've mentioned, Lucy is resistant to some of the broad spectrum antibiotics that we are used to using.  To be honest, this scares me.

Drew and the kids came tonight.  When Lucy saw them she said, "I'm so happy to see you guys...I haven't seen you in awhile!".  Be still my beating mama heart!

So very very grateful for the wonderful people that God has placed in our life.  We have friends across the hall at the moment.  She took this picture of Lucy and me this morning and brought me breakfast from Dunkin Doughnuts:).

My husbands "work family" reached out to our family in the most amazing way,  I want to say thank you so much for all that you have done for us, it means so much!!!

Still no word from Baltimore, but brief talks were had with our main doc this morning about what we feel needs to get done.  What we want and what is going to happen, we are still working on the details of that.  I will share when I know more.

My emotions have been all over the place today.  I am going to blame it on the lack of sleep...yeah that's it.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers, love and support!

I'm so tired...

January 24, 2013
I am going to keep my words short and sweet and just say that it was a difficult day!  We finally have Lucy back on the correct antibiotic, her pain is more under control, she has not retched or vomited since noon, and her fever is all but gone.  Things appear to be heading back in the right direction, again.  We are still waiting to hear back from the doctor at Hopkins.  We are even more concerned about her risk of infection now, she is only responding to certain broad spectrum antibiotics.  I'm so tired, just as I was getting ready to call it a night, Lucy woke up from her nine hour nap.  I am relieved to see her feeling better tonight, but am hoping that she will be ready to fall back to sleep soon.

It's 3 AM...

January 23, 2013
We're awake!  Lucy woke terrified, shaking, in pain, very tachacardic, retching, and with a fever of close to 105!  We are making yet another change to her antibiotic coverage.  Labs and cultures are done.  We are waiting on orders for an increase in her pain meds.  This screams cholangitis to me again...still.  I am looking forward to talking with our main doc later on in the morning, not sure his feelings will be the same.

A little Q & A...

People ask questions because they are seeking knowledge, information, understanding...I fully respect and GET that.  I like to do the same thing, just ask any of our docs :).  We often get asked questions about this, that, or the other.  I thought I would share a few of these questions and answers with you.  Perhaps it will help you to understand, give you some incite, or possibly confuse you more.  Whatever, keep asking questions, knowledge is power.

Is Lucy a candidate for organ transplant?   I can't recall if I have ever written about this here.  The answer is no, Lucy is not a candidate for intestinal transplant, or any kind of transplant. There have been a few attempts at intestinal transplant in kiddos with mitochondrial disease, but sadly the success rate is extremely poor.  Even if it were possible, Lucy's mitochondrial disease is very progressed, she most likely wouldn't survive the immunosuppressant medications that are necessary to prepare the body for transplant.  Lucy has way too many issues stacked against her!  Mitochondrial disease is a disease that can affect everything in the body down to the cellular level. It is thought that even if transplanting her were an option, the newly transplanted organs would eventually become affected by the disease.

What about EPI743?  A while back I talked about a new study drug that has been tauted as "the newest med" for patients with mitochondrial disease.  EPI743 is a  relatively new study drug that Drew and I learned about at the Mitochondrial Medicine Conference in Chicago back in  June of 2011.  At that time the FDA had just granted orphan drug status to the manufacture of EPI743.  This allowed patients who did not meet the original criteria for the study drug to receive the study drug if they met other less stringent criteria for the med.  By less stringent, I mean that patients did not need to have a diagnosis of leigh's disease or confirmation of their genetic mutation to become eligible for the study med.  Rather patients had to meet other diagnostic criteria, one of which was being deemed ninety days to end of life.  Lucy met all of the new qualifications for the study drug, however was not a candidate to receive EPI743 because of the way the med has to be administered and absorbed.  EPI743 is a fat soluble enzyme that is administered via the GI tract with food.  In other words, it does not come in an IV form.  Lucy's intestinal failure and malabsorbtion issues disqualified her as a possible candidate for EPI.

What options do we have remaining?  Ahhh....this is the million dollar question at the moment.  The way I see things, and believe me there are many others who are looking at our girl and seeing things differently, but in the end the opinion that matters most is what Drew and I decide is best for Lucy.  Currently we have put all of our proverbial eggs in one basket yet again, that basket being the GI doc at Hopkins in Baltimore.  We are waiting to hear back from him to find out what options he recommends for trying to alleviate the symptoms associated with Lucy's cholestasis and reoccurring cholangitis.  We heard back from the GI doctor at Jefferson last week, his recommendation was  a maximally invasive surgery in which we would reconstruct Lucy's bile duct by bringing up a portion of her small intestine and attaching it to her liver.  This option would definitely get rid of her floppy bile duct, but replacing one failing organ with another failing organ will most likely create an entirely new set of problems that will more than likely shorten Lucy's life.   Here is what we do know, we cannot fix the dysmotility problem or stasis in Lucy's bile duct.  Her entire gastrointestinal tract including her biliary system lacks any motility or movement as a result of her underlying mitochondrial disease.  What we are hoping to be able to do is alleviate some of the things that are contributing to her pain and reoccurring cholangitis. Repeating an ERCP and placing a more permanent stent in Lucy's bile duct is an option that the GI doc at Jefferson is willing to consider, but expressed concern that it is not going to fix the underlying issue, and may not fix anything at all.  Like I mentioned, we understand that we are not going to be able to fix her underlying issues.  What we are hoping for are viable options that will alleviate some of the pain and discomfort associated with cholestasis and cholangitis.  Removing Lucy's gallbladder is something that our surgeon has been wavering back and forth on doing for our girl.  It will not fix her problems, but again could potentially alleviate some of the pain and discomfort that Lucy is experiencing.  Weighing the risks versus the benefits, that is what we have been doing on a daily basis.

What is Lucy's prognosis?  This is a very tough question to answer!!  She is being described as "end of life".  Mito is an unpredictable disease, and as such no two patients are the same or follow the same path for their disease.  Although there are similarities between patients, there are just as many, if not more, differences.  These differences are what make "the end" difficult to predict.  For Lucy it is predicted that there will come a point in time when we will no longer be able to treat her reoccurring infections, and as such we are faced with the unthinkable, how long and how far are we willing to go to keep her body alive.  The decisions we make will play a role in how long or short Lucy's time here on this earth will be.

Is Lucy comfortable?  Comfort has always been our goal for our girl.  I can not express to you how difficult it has been to find just the right balance of medications to keep Lucy comfortable.  Pain management has perhaps been the most frustrating component of Lucy's disease to manage.  Lucy metabolizes meds very differently than you or I, or anyone else that our medical team has encountered.  What we assume will work for her doesn't, and what we think will not sometimes does...that's just so Lucy.  We have a baseline level of pain control that is helping to keep her pain tolerable.  Tolerable is the best we can hope for at the moment until we are are ready to say to our team that we are willing to give her comfort at all costs.  Lucy never ceases to amaze us with her coping abilities, in particular how she has learned to cope with pain.  It is both heart breaking and astonishing to witness our little girl endure so much, she is our hero.

How are we doing?  This is such a difficult question to answer in one word, or even a few sentences.  We are overwhelmed with so many feelings and emotions.  There is so much uncertainty in our life at the moment that we are not sure what to say.  We are relying on our faith, family, and friendships to help guide us through some of these difficulties in our life.  Our focus is on our entire family, we are blessed to have one another no matter what the circumstances.

I know that there are many more questions that I could discuss, but I mentioned in the title that this was going to be "a little Q & A".  Feel free to ask more questions, it has always been my desire to share our story in hopes that by doing so our story might just help others.

Thanks as always for your thoughts and prayers, love and support.  We could never do this alone.

Here we go again...

January 22, 2013
Fevers, retching, vomiting, tachacardia, increasing abdominal pain...here we go again!!!  God, my baby could use a break!



On Friday we changed Lucy's antibiotic coverage and discontinued her antifungal, much to my dismay, all in an effort to keep her from becoming resistant to any more broad spectrum antibiotics or antifungals.  I have a feeling that we are going to be making the switch back to what we were doing, at least that is what I am hoping for.  Our main doc is not on call tonight so we are at the mercy of the resident and senior resident.  Hopefully they are willing to listen to my pleas.   Labs and cultures have been ordered, again.