Monday, May 19, 2014

One Hundred Days...



Drew and I woke this morning with that now all too familiar look in our eyes.

The look that says, "I miss her!"

One hundred days ago we thanked God for the precious gift of Lucy and then handed her back to him and said, "She's yours, take good care of her!"

We reiterated to Lucy in her final moments how very proud we are of her, how she accomplished everything she was sent to this earth to do and was now free to go, how much we love her, and that we will see her again soon.

For Lucy, we have been told, that it will feel like a blink of an eye and then we will be there in Heaven with her for eternity.

For us, one hundred days feels like an eternity...

How are we?

We are like a family on a wire, one wrong move and we all fall!  We are here for one another, and we don't for one second take that for granted!

Grief is fierce.

Feelings just are.

We miss the way life used to be.

We miss our girl.

One hundred days ago I had no idea what this type of pain felt like, NO idea.

One hundred days ago I never imagined that I could live one day without Lucy, let alone one hundred days.

One hundred days ago our life forever changed in a way that will never be able to be "fixed".

One hundred days ago I only knew the myths of grief, now I am beginning to understand the realities.

One hundred days ago Lucy took with her a bit of all of our hearts.  She is keeping them with her until we meet again, where we will once again be made whole. 

One hundred days of grieving, it's only just the beginning, we will grieve for the rest of our lives.

 

3 comments:

Clara-Leigh said...

I pray that this hundredth day you are blessed with a hundred beautiful "Lucies"-sweet sweet little memories of special times!!

Helen A said...

Love the tatoo. Missing her soft warm hand, painting her nails, seeing her smile and hearing her sweet voice.

Carrie said...

Nicole, you and your family continue to be in my thoughts often. As I began all of our planning for the UMDF walk this year, I thought about your girl and how much I would miss seeing her this year. It's hard to believe it's been over 100 days.. I don't know how you are holding it together but your honest and real posts continue to move me. You continue to be an inspiration to me and so many others. Love to you all!