Saturday, February 1, 2014

Waiting on Him...

I can't even begin to tell you what the past few weeks have been like…there truly are no words to describe it.

At times we have a peace about Lucy dying that surpasses all understanding.

Other times, I can honestly tell you that this experience equates to the worst human torture.

Waiting for and watching your sick child die…it's indescribable heartbreak!

How are we doing?  That's a loaded question!

We are trying our best to live in the moment.  We are loving our girl with ALL of our hearts.  Thinking about the future is painful, living in the past is too, but being present is something that we can do.  We have been and continue to be surrounded with love from family, friends, doctors and nurses - whom we affectionately refer to as or "medical family", and by people we have never met but whose lives have been changed just from hearing about our special family, our special girl.  We could never do this alone, and are so very very grateful that we don't have to.

Despite all of the medical complexities, increase in pain, and overall physical decline, we have had some amazing moments during the past two weeks in which we have seen our girl sparkle and shine in ways we haven't seen in months.  Our medical team described these moments to us as being spurred by a euphoria due to an altered state of body chemistry. They refer to them as "golden moments" or gifts that a dying person gives to those they love before the die.  Whatever the cause, we will be forever grateful for these moments.

The decisions that we have made throughout Lucy's life have helped to determine how long or short her time here on this earth would be, but ultimately it has always been in God's hands.  He's known from the moment she was created just how her life would end here on earth and when her eternal life would begin.  "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." (Psalm 139:16)

The past few weeks and the days or weeks ahead are the definition of waiting on God's timing...we are waiting on Him.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bless your hearts. Praying for you all through this time of waiting on Him.

Donna said...

I showed our home group Lucy's video on Friday night. Everyone thinks you the definition of a "family". They are all praying for Lucy. One of my friends said that when God calls Lucy we will all know there is a special angel in heaven.

Continued prayers and hugs to all.

Carrie said...

My heart continues to break for you and your wonderful family.. This is a pain no parent or child should ever have to endure. I am so thankful that you've had some golden moments with your girl, such special memories. Sending our love and prayers.

Joan Beaudry said...

You, your husband and your children are all very special. Lucy will soon be transformed into a beautiful guardian angel who will always be watching over all of you with much love. I don't know exactly how you feel, but I can understand as I have a special needs daughter. She provides me with much love and many special moments which I will treasure always - just like your family and Lucy. Much love coming your way, Joan (Beth Picard's mother-in-law)

Rebekah Klugman Munyan said...

Sending you any strength I can and thinking of all of you always.

Rebekah Munyan

Heidi said...

Praying for more golden moments in the days to come, continued prayers and love for you all-- Heidi.
** I hope my package made it and it brought some smile :)

Patricia Dixon said...

may good bless you and your family, my heart and prayers are with you and your's. Tanerra is my daughter and has exspressed how amazing your family is and how much she love's LUCY. I'AM PRAYING EXTRA LOUD AND HARD FOR LUCY, GOD BLESS HER AND THE ENTIRE FAMILY.
THE LORD IS MY SHEPERD I SHALL NOT WANT.

Sincerely Mrs.Patricia Dixon